Monday, January 3, 2011

Complications....


When I started this whole plan to escape, it's something I've always wanted, and as it turns out I need it. I convinced myself it would be the best thing, I for self growth, adventure, getting away from some crappy people that were surrounding me (from school), and getting over you; hell it had a lot to offer.

I made up a perfect plan, I convinced cognitively every part of me. That it was for the best.

And I began a process to get over you, it was great, but that lasted about 2 seconds, because in some way you attracted me right back to you. And not just in some way, but in the way that showed me that I'm important in your life. And theres nothing better than the feeling that you matter in someones life, and better yet, in the person you loves life. I'm all for the adventure, even though your irreplaceable, your the best guy in my life.


Although I know I'm doing the right thing, I must leave, I'm not turning back, I'm not leaving any space for regret. I need to move on, maybe the distance will let that happen, or maybe it will show both of us how much we may or may not need each other, there's a lot of uncertainty, and that no longer bothers me, what ever happens, will happen, and there's no inhuman force that can stop it.

I know there's a lot to gain from all this, theres a lot to learn, to rethink; but there's nothing to cry over or e upset about. It's all good. Maybe it wasn't our time, or it will never be -who knows- and there's no use wasting my time or other peoples time debating that.


The truth of the matter is that you can't put your life on hold for someone, it's not that easy. That's a selfish choice I made and learned a long time ago thanks to extraordinary circumstances.

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