My drunken life form quantified…

Hahaha… I was pondering… “Damn yaAzZz, you don’t really feel when you’re extreeeemly drunk, until you drop!” And I thought, “that can’t be good there’s got to be a way to know”…. A few moments later I found my self wandering in facebook, one of my many addictions, and I found a photo of Andy with an authentic breathalyzer, and WoooooW!!! I was truly amazed, I really want one, I would really like to check my true alcoholic level when it’s necessary, a true friend would get me one!!! And we could compete legally on how drunk we truly are!! Hahaha.

Contemplation

The other day, I went to see a movie, one of those good American: crazed serial killer Vs good emotionally distant FBI agents films. In which of course the good FBI agents win the final battle. But the point is… there was a phrase that left me thinking, the main character, says at one point… “I can do lots of things… but I’m not good at dealing with death”.. .and I wondered… “Is anyone good at dealing with losing a loved one?”I still haven’t met anyone who laughs when a loved one dies. Oh well… until the next time.

“Reveling” day on pathetic people!!! hahahha

A whole lot can happen in just one day, but sometimes, enough is enough to just piss you off. What to do when…. You realize that you just can’t through with it, you just can’t fit in with close minded people, people who just don’t get it. I know I usually sound cruel at times, but, I seriously try to do the right thing, the thing my pragmatic education taught me. I grew up and learned the hard way, that honesty is the only way to go, even if at times it might just as well sound cynical.

I learned that speaking your mind isn’t a crime, a sincere speech will get you just about anywhere, or maybe not anywhere, but it’s better to face the consequences of honesty than to face the consequence of deceit. Some mentally undeveloped and challenged folks will never get it; some people mix honesty and interpret it the wrong way, because to understand and be honest, MATURITY IS REQUIRED. Some people can’t listen, and for that matter just keep their little trap shut, they don’t have the courage to say “you pissed me off”, bitching the night away by forming little assemblies, that’s exactly what they do. They’ll never see the world, they’ll never get it.

On the bright side, today, “reveling” to just how dim-witted people can be, it has also shown me how inpatient I’m getting, I lose it, but I don’t care I guess it was just bottled up. Just as I mentioned in my last entry, the unconditional friends, the ones I call at 1 AM, the ones who know me, and get my motives, and don’t interpret more than what their ears hear, WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, I don’t change friends as often as I change underwear. And that’s that, the subject will no longer be mentioned. FYI… it pathetic when college attendees aren’t as MATURE as they like to think!!! Hahaha

Great Break...

What a marvelous “spring break” weekend vacation, it’s exactly what the doctor ordered (haha, no, not really, it’s more like what the doctor didn’t order), but any how... I really got to catch up with those unconditional friends, that I have missed a lot these last couple of months. I didn’t lose my touch this week at any party, just like a good friend says: “I really bought it all”. I must confess, I had been losing that “yazz party style” lately, I don’t know what came over me, and what the cause could be, but o well, I got my thaaang back!!
Uff, on Friday we totally specked out, we played Wii for more tan 8 hours, drank tons of beer, ate, and of course: watched, none other than Episode III of Star Wars. We totally bought back those high school memories. It’s just what I needed, to remember how amazing my true friends are, and not like the “tight” college community (of course there’s exceptions, but in the most part, college classmates suck) and that’s all I’m going to say about that, I tend to go on and on. On the other hand, next week will solely be dedicated to those loyal and trustworthy friends, so everyone else can just go screw themselves hahaha. Finally Cheko’s big 20 has arrived, we are going to go off the hook at his club party, and so will Chucho’s partaaay… great moments approach, I can feel it, and it feels good to back off the “college” surroundings for a while, I gained control again, and I’m quite proud of something that went down later this week, I can honestly say… it sucks, but I can deal, though it hurts like a stinging cut. Until next time, fellow bloggers. Have an ass kicking week.

Down with Him.....

How one should live o how things should be is what philosophy studies. That’s what Niklas Luhmann blabbers about through his “wonderful” systemic theories. He takes an activity such as communication, and follows it through a philosophical paradigm. Don’t get me wrong, I think that in what concerns sociological systems theory, it’s a whole new ball game, since my major isn’t sociology I can’t really comment on the matter. I don’t believe that he’s at all capable of theorizing in communication supporting himself with the old communication
model, an unidirectional communication exposed by Shannon y Weaver^[1].

That would be my main concern, you can't base your theories with a model that worn out by the 1940’s it’s more than 60 years old, there’s new, better and a whole lot more modern communicative theories, we can’t limit ourselves to the old paradigm.

Such as those suggested by the School of Palo Alto, and my personal favorite Watzlawick , who is part of the second generation of that school: it should also be noted that Watzlawick[2] is a bit systemic, but only in the pragmatic way, not in the philosophical practice. He recognizes the structure and function of communication, and its process.

On the other hand Luhmann, is totally contradictory, he affirms that communication is action and later he takes it back, and later he says that it s an action which SHOULD be simplified, how the heck are you going to simplify a complicated process? He never emphasizes on the importance of the meaning that the interlocutors have in communication, or the effects of intention, which is constantly present in human behavior, if someone says something without a specific intention, I can say, that he or she is crazy. Since it’s impossible to communicate without intention; Luhmann doesn’t give a crap about it.

He has a closed perspective on the matter, he’s way too, philosophical, mathematical, and completely out of his league, for example: “The act of communication SHOULD duplicate information […]”[3].

He also states that communication, should ALWAYS, accomplish a change, I don’t think that’s entirely true, what about those ANTI Smoking campaigns in which people keep smoking? He also says the media transforms the improbable in probable[4], what the hell, so all we see is lies on the news, and read lies in the papers? He thinks, social systems, develop a self description which allows the prediction of future actions[5], I can’t believe this pseudo-social theorist actually believes the crap he writes, he must really have a good dealer, Luhmann if you’re reading this, please contact me to your dealer, I would really appreciate it, I don’t agree with more of 75% of your so called “theories”, so come and get me!!! Haha I’m sorry people, I just don’t understand why some teachers love the guy, and he’s really full of stereotypes and rigor-less paradigms

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[1] Lineal model: Recipient, Message, and Emission

[2] WATZALWICK, Paul. Human Communication Theory. Ed. Herder, Spain 2002.

[3] LUHMANN, Niklas. Social Systems for general theory. 1998, pg. 144.

[4] Idem pg 158

[5] Idem pg 167.

Your Secrets.

Before the Fall of the Berlin Wall, East Germany's Secret Police…

Listened to Your Secrets

Tagline from “ The lives of others”.

Information is power, intimacy in “The Lives of others” is a luxury, however for Lisa Sanders, who “deciding what to say and what to keep to myself is not an easy decision, it’s more of a continuous exercise of balance”. But, what happens when you don’t own your own information? What happens when the establishment invades not only your privacy but also your intimacy?

In the award winning film in 2006, the decision isn’t that difficult, the main character, an intellectual, a writer, Georg Dreyman knows that confessing and talking about his ideas publicly could be harmful to his freedom, and even to his life. The only time he does, in an anonymous matter, he’s almost caught. Bugs are installed in his home; the most intimate issues are recorded, and he listens to everything even the writter’s sexual intercourse with his girlfriend the actress, Christa- Maria Sieland.

The plot thickens, , Hauptmann Gerd Wiesler, agent HGW XX/7, designated to the case, since the writer may be conspiring agains the RDA government, this agent decides freely, even though his life might endanger, he starts passing on phony informs to his superiors’ to protect Georg.

This film is a response, of what East Germany lived trough in the last half of the 80´s, that would be the last 5 years of the life of the Berlin Wall. The public spaces, totally under control, were quite limited, even artistic expression was controlled. If any subjects that are delicate for the government would censure them, and of course the artists would be out of a job, never to be heard of again.

West established: “the theory of communication gestation of privacy […] contains five basic points: private information, private limits, control and property, and a system base don rules”: those are things that the characters involved in this movie didn’t have. There wasn’t a public opinion, more than the one the government controlled, through the media, mainly the TV. And those disobedient citizens who didn’t respect that, were tortured, and even killed in cold blood, creating great fear in the general population.

Close to the end of the movie, with the fall of the Berlin Wall, the public spaces are modified, in pro of the liberty of speech. Finally homeostasis occurs, with the needs and meanings of the citizens, which beforehand didn’t exist. For Noelle-Neumann, in the Spiral of Silence, governments fall, then credibly is lost between the populations, that´s what happened with East Germany in the movie, some citizens were willing to fight the power and create spots in the public image of the establishment.

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WEST. Richard, Communication. Theory, analysis and Aplication. Pp. 202.

Ídem P. 205

An eventful Friday.

Agh, I’m going mad, the new friggin’ neighbor up in 502, is doing some renovating in her department. I can’t sleep, I got home a few hours ago, and I’m hung-over with head pain, my ribs hurt, I have an unsatisfying thirst, chest pain; but on the bright side, I’m inspired…

It’s official… Under any circumstance I can´t be trusted. I can’t control myself, goddamn it. What are you going to think about a nearly 20 year old, who doesn’t know what self control is? It’s quite weak and the fact of the matter is that I’m really weak.

You’re probably thinking?? Damn, who did she kill? Well that’s the worst part; my actions didn’t affect anyone else but me (well maybe I sort of screwed up the night of a couple of friends, but nothing too serious, I think). I should’ve gone home when I had a chance, I shouldn’t have stayed there. So many should’ves, it is really quite a pity (haha note the rhyme). I’m starting to think that I should stop partying all together, since dear old “mature” Yazzz can’t put a restraint on her self. I’m not going into the “grouse” details.

The worse thing is, that I really got home after all the detours, but noooo… that wasn’t enough… I had to go on and on, and get even more screwed up. I know that if I continue this path, it’s not going to lead to anywhere beneficial. I really have to stop this, even if it means no more partying. I have to learn to have fun without the festivities.

Just Another Day

Soon I’ll be 20 years old and no longer a teen, I’d have lived 20 wonderful summers and winters, accompanied by old friendships, new ones, family, music, excess, and of course a whole lot of attitude. I really don’t want to turn twenty; it’s going to make me feel things I don’t want: old, mature, experimented etc.

Today was actually one of those days, when good things happened. Remember the teacher I really bitched about the other day? You know the fascist, well, it turns out, I’m not half bad writing in Spanish, according to her, she’s a bit variable and unstable, she really needs to make up her mind, do I suck, or don’t I?

In either case, I wasn’t present when she said she loved my critical review, since I had gone for coffee, to study for the Public Opinion and Propaganda exam (yes, I now I said I wouldn’t), but I can’t afford to fuck up in that class.

By the way, hahaha, yesterday I took the “Complete control of English Exam” I laughed right through it, it’s quite pathetic and disturbing: “the best and most prestigious college in Latin America” could perform an exam like that, it was designed for total and complete incompetents. I snickered so hard, the examinee threatened to have me expelled or suspended from the UNAM based on the 87^th article in the organic college law, due to inappropriate behavior, I didn’t want to argue, but it was still quite funny.

What a day

Hey folks, today, were quite a varied day for me, I have discovered some health issues thanks to my wild lifestyle, buy I know it’s not something that can’t be fixed, it has a solution, have a more responsible lifestyle, avoid smoking, drinking and etc.

On the other hand, I had a wonderful time with my high school friends, fist with Topo and Zamo, we sooooo obviously caught up on resent events, and told each other exactly what we thought (in a totally brotherhoody sort of way). Later with Cheko, Damian and Gloria, we went housepary searching, we finnaly found the abandoned house, later we went for some drinks we totally had a blast, gossiping on superficial things, and catching up on the resent things in each other’s lives as well.

It was a great day, though I might be prohibited something’s that I really enjoy, I must stop, unless I want to get myself killed at the young age of 19.

Monday is my English exam, I really hope I pass, since I have been practicing on my English grammar and such, I must to do well, if I don’t it’s going to be quite depressing. Tuesday is the public opinion class examination, I’m not nervous, I’m not even going to study, going to leave things more to destiny now a days. I emphasize, this is going to be one hell of a week. Until the next inspirational moment.

Sad but true...

Boring and long weeks approach, all consistent with a ton of a work load dreadful classes and whatnot; the list of truly mind-numbing things could go on and on.

In the prestigious Political Science and Social Science department, of the National Autonomous University of Mexico, I have finally discovered a truly amazing fact. I’m being taught to keep my mouth shut and be a total and complete demagogue. Ironic isn’t it? It’s the first thing “idealists” fight for in classes, and it’s the first thing they lose voluntarily due to sucking up to the teacher, which makes it ten times more dismal.

College should be one of places were you can completely express your thoughts, because entering in the occupation life you won’t be able to do so. It’s depressing when you have to think like a professor, talk like a teacher, even if some of the time she o her doesn’t have the one and only truth (haha considering that there is no one and only truth in social sciences).

I really despise the matter; it’s a way for people to not carry out liberty of speech, just to suck up and not show themselves differently from the professor. Not expressing what you believe is one of the worst crimes that are committed with those fascists’ teachers, and I`m protected by both Mexican[1] and United States[2] Law.

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[1] 6^th article contained in the Mexican Federal Constitution. This clearly states… “6°.- The manifest of ideas will not be subject to a judicial or administrative felony”.

[2] The First Amendment protects freedom of speech, press, religion, assembly and petition. ....

On the bright Side

Yes, people! I’m getting over the manic depressive mode that last week come over my nervous system… Yeaaah “positively thinking YAZZZ is back”…. So I’ll just talk about the only good thing about last week It has been exactly a week ago, since I participated in my boss’s book presentation, a great honor indeed.

I was quite the nervous wreck, I constantly had flashbacks of the Congress debate 2 years ago, the debate where Zamorano, Eugenia, Fabian, the late Bernardo and I obtained 2^nd place, because we truly kicked some private mediocre school ass.

The book conference ran quite smoothly, I talked about my dear, Speck Crew, whom in the most part voted BLUE (PAN), in the 2006 elections. I managed NOT to screw up, or say anything inappropriate, or tremble while I spoke. This makes me quite happy, I should celebrate (haha as if the crazy weekend wasn’t enough!).

Could it be? Am I actually getting over my stage fright? Can I finally become a communicator without worrying? I hope all those answers are affirmatives, because if not, I’m taking the wrong major.

Well dear readers, have a great week, until the next inspirational moment.

PD: I promise to upload the conference pictures as soon as I get them

As the 2nd Super Tuesday: APROACHES....

It's Been a Long Year, Since We Last Spoke.

I found my self quite upset. Therefore I shall detail the really shitty things I`ve noticed about this week:

1. Will, died exactly a year ago

2. My situation with a friend just got a little more complicated, there’s no control.

3. I noticed I’m quite mediocre in some aspects

4. I have relapsed over and over again, and I`m quite scared

5. I cried my self to sleep all this week

6. I’ve noticed that some people aren’t worth it, people whom one day meant a lot.

7. My sister is still an insufferable bitch.

This is the story of an arrogant girl whom has written many letters in her head, all of them, addressed to you, which makes her think that they got lost in the mail. No matter how many times she hides the fact your dead, it’s constant, it haunts her like a nightmare, it won`t let he sleep. Regret is definitely the worst feeling. Lament for not having the courage to have looked him in the eyes and told him how she felt, constantly thinking that things could have been diverse if only the nerve were present. She tries to forget, trying to ignore by laughing, avoiding failure and the hard fall. Will was this girl’s childhood friend, her neighbor, her mentor, her first of almost everything, always there until the day of his death, a true friend who constantly had the satiric comment.

It’s true no matter how hard she tries, she encloses on a constant self destructive personality, feeling guilty about living, convinced to have deserved his fate, having done so much wrong, so much harm: SHE WOULD HAVE DESERVED THAT. She lives in bitterness, she would have traded him the place she rightfully was worthy of.

She still looks for him online, hopping every single day since February 28^th that his screen name would show up, that he would just magically appear and talk, make jokes and give advice; his death has made me feel so alone, so bitter, so guilty, so regretful, it left her scarred.

She didn’t have a single lament, before that day but she feels sorry for herself. She’ll never forget him, though you’ll never know how she cries alone. She took him for granted, looking back on all of those days she had him, and she thinks to herself in those moments everyone is distracted: “IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME”.

HIS MEMORY WON`T LET GO.

RIP: WILLIAM JARED SMITH. Jan 1988-Feb 2007

Just a thought. PRT I

I wrote this, almost a year ago… there are something’s that I have learned not to be true, but in the meantime I’ll add this entry, and of course I’ll later explain myself.

So over these long vacations, in which I’ve had a substantial period of time to analyze a few things.... lets see if I can express my thoughts correctly, I’m a little rusty in the English department so please be patient with my grammar and spelling mistakes. .
First of all it’s really difficult to generalize, so I’ll try avoiding that. With that said….almost all human being can be contradictory, why? You might ask; My answer isn’t that simple…. See we tend to (not all of us) say one thing and later do something completely different, maybe even unconsciously.
How many times have you lied to your self??? Just to believe something that isn’t completely true, this way elimination pain, anxiety, or preoccupation.
I really don’t think of it abnormal, I mean come on reality isn’t always just peachy, is it?? Can you imagine the real motive for the existence of movies and even TV shows…. I’m going to go out on a limb here…. All the media being as “objective? as you might think it is, has one true goal…. Higher ratings, with that accomplished, they are able to advertise, and commercialize : products, services, hell even ideas. So it’s a mercantile objective, but it becomes a bit more than that …. It actually goes back to the whole reality-fantasy debate, you see the media with a defining goal, easy to have I might add, the problem is reaching it, getting in the race, making it through, squeezing the juice, what ever you might call it…. How???
My analysis thus far… all this is achieved by giving you a piece of reality…. Yeah that’s right… how many times have you seen a movie, or watched a TV show and actually placed you self in someone else’s shoes?? Or though… what would it be like?? Maybe you aren’t so aware of doing it, but I’m most certain you have, even unconsciously. The media that’s what the media does, it drains your reality from maybe (emphasis on maybe) your sad, depressing, vicious, boring life. Taking you audiovisual-y to a perfect, fun, exiting, world; where anything can happen. That’s one of the things that makes us human, we enjoy feeling human as if we all had something in common.
That’s not all that communicative media does: they actually tell you how you should act, think, do, feel, about certain things. Many people from recent generations watch more TV, then they actually attend class (proven by professors and scientists on the subject). TV is becoming a babysitter in most cases, children mainly infants are more educated on social customs; by TV shows, than by actual parents or relatives.
For example I don’t see it being all bad, it can actually be a relief in some aspects. The wrong doing goes on when theses international, media enterprises go out and interfere in national political interests, telling others what to believe and how to see the world. Where does that leave sovereignty??? How about everyone else’s free will? It’s important to have your own way of seeing the world, your own ideology. Don’t let your self become manipulated, even though fantasies can be very attractive. Don’t always follow the masses, something’s are deceitful.
You have been educated in a neo-liberal (economically speaking) ideology, in which globalization is well seen, but what about the clothing you buy for 100s of dollars? Clothing which is produced in Taiwan for 10 cents, in a poverty stricken village, where people have no choice but to work a very long amount of hours for 2 dollars a day… yeah it’s true you sometimes don’t have a choice (you don’t choose where you’re born) but think about it; wouldn’t better salaries be more human??

Don’t get the wrong idea I’m not a global-phobic or anything, thanks to it international commerce has opened though not always beneficiary. Just as Karl Marx anticipated a couple of centuries ago “one day imperialism will become a totally different level? . What would be of communication, transference of information worldwide, technology and other things without globalization. What I criticize is the human factor, arrogance, and capitalism egoism.
We tend to be extremists, and judge everything on a scale, losing objectivity. It is also useless to be extremely subjective, and see everything polarized and segmented. A balance does exist, something can’t be completely evil, or truly virtuous, there’s a gray, a middle, a balance, in almost everything that meets the eye. It can become very difficult to see with all the misleading information that has bee taught during the existence of life by religion, government TV and all social controlling means.

WELCOME

I have decided, to restart after nearly 2 years since I've blogged to give it another go. Thanks to a good friend of mine and a really bitchy teacher… we noticed that I really stink with spanish journalism. So I'm going to give English journalism another try, lets see what happens. A long time ago when Will lived, he complimented on my blog. I might be able to pimp it out again… so people wish me luck.