As you all know, I write a whole lot about my experiences with other people, such as.... afro -pubehair, the queen of drama and 'loves of her life', Tony Stark, my gold ol' friends etc.
I'm not one to believe in the supernatural or "that things happen for a reason", due to the fact that there will always be the unexplainable.
This next month will feel eternal, I'm going to wait until the end of April, and I'll know if I'm staying or going. I must admit it's quite scary.... I mean I've already turned in all the papers in other to leave the "crap" hole(1) for about 5 months... some people are happy for me and wishing me the best, and others, not precisely.
But Ohhh well, the only thing that counts is my happiness... and my future, but above all my piece of mind. I know that some folks think "why the hell is she going to leave in the last semester, and miss out on the whole 'graduation' thang"....
The answer is quite simple, the few people who I care about, and I know I'll keep in touch with, I know that they feel the same way. And on the other hand, I already had the whole prom experience, with people I care about, people I love, people I go out with, true friends; and that's definitely how I feel about the shitty ass classmates. I don't feel like having a "hypocrite" experience when I graduate, hell I've been congruent for 4 years, and my incongruity isn't going to start in the last days of college life. o the best excuse is to "be out of the country".
If people weren't so envious, and frustrated I would care a little more, and even help out, but people, like such are crap, and that's the biggest lesson I have learned in college, it's the bigger picture and much more insightful than what I ever learned in a classroom. Most of the people I've come across aren't worth it!!!! Puff I can finally say it without feeling guilty! hahahaha Because it's true!! hahaaha
(1) When I say crap hole I'm referring to all the crappy people I'm forced to socialize with, and I try so hard to ignore.... but my hateful attitude is much bigger than myself. And those people (99.9%) know who they are. Because they feel the same way.
Ugh, I missed a reunion with my highschool budies!! Damn it, I'm quite pissed... this semester had started out wonderful, with great subjects, only the necesary and good friends not more, none the less, good teachers -although I don't agree with them always-, I'm actually learning the Machiavelian theories towards obtaining unlimited power. And today of al days, a teachers asistant today alarmed us all with a heavy homework assingnment for tommorow. So I decided not to go out, and do the responsihing, the thing a true college student would do and sudenly at 8:45 PM, the teachers asis... informed us all: "I won't be going tommorow to pick up your asignments, it's posponed until tuesday".
r resting, not for walking miles for rum and cigarrets –hahaha-.
In “Game of an Angel”, it’s Spanish author –Carlos Ruiz Zafón- expressed this phrase, which I love:
lized that I learn more talking to a guy like him, than talking to 99.9999% of the teachers I’ve had classes with – with the exception of Tenorio of course-.
Yeaah, life's most certainly become a blast!!!
Scene 1. Gabriel: “You sound like that one kid who said that a dictatorship is the best democracy”.
Scene 2. Yaz: “Discussing about how the media should be isn’t going to change it”.
Gabriel “Well, here we come to discuss how media should be”.
Yaz (to herself and under her breath). “That’s not going to get me a job, or feed me, or clothe me. That’s philosophy, not communication.”
Scene 3: Yaz: “We can’t expose our opinion on laws, education, welfare, economics, everything. We don’t have enough bases on any of those subjects; we are not made to comment about everything. That’s the same thing that pisses us off about talk shows.”
Gabriel “There’s Fatima Fernandez, she comments about anything”.
Yaz (to herself and under her breath). “She’s a sociologist; she’s not a communication expert, it’s not the same”.
Scene 4: Gabriel “You have a B. Why can’t you write properly?”
Yaz: “Umm, well, umm, Spanish isn’t my native language”.
Gabriel snickers, and says “OK”.
I thought back of all the particulars throughout the semester and I came to a conclusion, he didn’t like me because I didn’t think like him, OK, he didn’t have to like me, but he had an obligation to at least respect me. Why? Because the hypocrite at the beginning of the semester clearly said: “here you can all speak your mind”. Well pure honky donky… he didn’t respect me or my way of thinking, the jackass wouldn’t have had to, if he hadn’t acted as if he were quite open. Just like a congruent adult would assume.
It’s quite funny how he babbled on about censorship, and he takes it to the next level at his own classroom. Quite pathetic you wouldn’t think?
I’m past it, but I would really like to accuse, Gabriel Romero Hernandez, for the hideous crime of banning my liberty of speech. He is one of those intolerant teachers at the National Autonomous University of Mexico, in the Faculty of Political and Social Science, but he’s the worst kind, because he passes off as a nice “open” kind of guy, with a dynamic class, and “easy” exams. Pure crap, his exams are so subjective, a priest would be more objective. And as to open, open ha, yeah right, a pro life protester is much more open than him. Sad isn’t it?
But on the other hand, I have just officially ended with this torturing semester. So 4 gone, 5 to go. Huraaahhh. I will pick my teachers more carefully next time, and I won’t, I repeat, I WON’T Guide my decisions on second opinions.
Yes, that’s right dear bloggers… soon enough I shall end this major in about give or take 2 more years. Throughout almost 2 years… I have realized a few things about college… many people cheat… hell yeah… there are those who don’t study and copy in exams, others who make up the research answers to the polls, those who don’t read crap and download summaries, those who pay others to write essays for them, others who download everything off line and don’t change a single word, those use bring cheat sheets on exams, others who make up answers for interviews. There’s a bit of everything, really… what? You don’t believe me??
It’s quite funny; I haven’t yet run into someone who hasn’t done any of the things above, me included. So here comes the hardest question of all… Is college a fraud? Well, hope not, because in that case why the hell am I studying?
The other day I laughed my ass off… as it turns out, most of the teachers that impart journalism genre II, at the end of the semester assign a journalistic report, in my case I had to do a radio report, it was quite painstaking, but me and Cora went thought with it, with honors, we didn’t make up a single fact.
At 8PM before turning in my project, I receive a phone call from a friend asking me for names of people who own a club, I gave him a couple and he said “thanks and by the way I included and fake interview with you, because I didn’t want to go through with it.
I laughed, but that wasn’t enough… when I get in the classroom the next day to turn in my project.. I hear, to my disgrace, actually to the frauds disgrace “damn, what if the teacher notices that we made up the interviews?”. I really couldn’t help myself, I laughed harder (mainly because I hate the girl who was bullshitting). Later on the cynic, asked me “did you guys make up interviews?”, me, all proper and quite annoyed answered “Hell no, what is wrong with you?”
Ok, I was a bit of a hypocrite, because in the last report I had to turn in, I sort of made up 2 interviews (and I didn’t make the up per sei, since people sort of said the same things just in a different space and time) … but hell I don’t want to be a journalist, and it was late, and no one would answer me… so I didn’t have another choice, but IT WASN’T THE FINAL!!
The other day I was talking, messing around, and I realized I have 3 specialties’. Yes, 3 of them. I’m quite proud, some people are good at math, others good at public relations, others at writing, others at chemistry… but I’m good at:
As it turns out, the day didn’t start off that bad, as bad as the rest of the days of this bitchy week… but it exactly 9:45 it started sucking. First I fell asleep in my last two classes, including my favorite one (History III). Then I went to work, which wasn’t as bad as other days, I Just kept falling asleep as I was with my boss.
Later on, I ran home and went to turn in the papers for the national advertising contest. Finally, I got home and a friend was waiting for me… I had decided to finally give him an opportunity. But then I realized I couldn’t be with him because he lives under the influence. So I told him to bug off.
And now as I write this, laying on my sofa, I realized that I was quite stupid, thinking that he could change, that he could deserve a second chance. I’m never going to be able to get over certain things, no matter how many therapy sessions I have. Which I’m planning to ditch, it’s just not working for me, and I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP!!
Ohh well, “Life is life”, I better live it… in the next couple of weeks I won’t be adding entries’, since finals approach, and this is the last chance to fix all the crap I’ve done this semester.
As It turns out; I had a wonderful time in Verac ruz. Ok, I drank tons, hahaha maybe the whole Alcohol Industry in Veracruz, o well, it was a challenge that I was obligated to complete. Though, I wasn’t really that optimistic about the whole journey, I kind of thought that I would just lose it… but I didn’t, I had a lot of self control, which why I’m pleased with myself, I proved that I could enclose a bit of self control.
I acted quite responsibly, I didn’t swim or go to the beach in an inconvenient estate (thought a couple of my roommates did). Now, the matter in question, the phrase “on trips you find out who your real friends are” is totally true, on trips, journeys, adventures, you get to see what people are really about, I got to confirm my suspiciouns about a certain “click of friends”. I realized that not only where they full of shit, and stupid, but they are also a group of voluble little fucks. I’m glad, I never really considered them my “friends”, so I’m not really that disappointed, thought it’s not always good to be right about people, in this case I was.
On the other hand, I had the opportunity to subsist with a few nice folks, who aren’t running around with bullshit, and of course, of those who really know how to party, hahaha, that makes me quite cheerful, optimistic with high spirits. Could it be, I just haven’t had much luck with folks at college? Could it be, there are more normal, polite, pleasant people than I thought?
Before doing my homework, while the events are quite freshly saved in my memory, I shall proceed to explain, with excruciating detail all the crap that went down yesterday….
There was this party/concert, and I wasn’t in the mood for it, but oh well… I ended up going against my will (just kidding, I don’t do things against my will). After being exploited in the office, we went along, to get our party on… We arrived, at the time my dear friend Zamorano was signing his Mexican tunes. Some bitch friends that Edgar bought along were being completely rude to him, but oh well, I ignored their pathetic asses. Late on, Edgar, and “Puma[1]” got into an argument because Puma’s stupid ass told Edgar that his sister fucked nice, Edgar was about to kick his ass, but he was pulled away.
I kept drinking like there was no tomorrow. Around 8, a fight broke out, outside, Edgar kicked stupid Puma’s ass, but it didn’t end there, everyone was jumping in. Zamorano later on considered a good idea to piss Edgar off, so I kind of jumped in, in between them. I got kicked, because I jumped in... I had my "BROTHERS BACK" (my bro, being Zamorano)
The cops were called, and everything cooled down, though at that point I noticed… I HAVE VERY FEW FRIENDS AT COLLEGE, THANK GOD FOR MY HIGHSCHOOL FRIENDS WHO DON´T GET INTO FIGHTS OVER STUPIDITIES !!!!
The partying continued… and… I was just a taaaad tipsy, and this little “gentleman”, who considers hims
elf very smart, humorous and amusing, decided it was a good idea to flirt with me, the only problem is that, I DON’T LIKE HIM, and just as I told him “I don’t want problems because you why can’t you get it”[2] he responded, the most pathetic thing ever “I like you when you hate me”… Finally I was pulled away from him, by two great friends (Cora and Daniel). The night ended for me, I had to get home, because my family has trust issues with me, I went on home, and ended up walking (drunk) with Many for more than an hour, because there was no longer public transportation. It was one of the best night walks I’ve had in a long time; we talked a whole lot, though most things are quite private…. And that’s about it…. Have a good one; I must finish all of my essays… se ya….
PD. I finally had my 1st session with my shrink today, it was quite interesting.
[1] a skinny bitch ass, junkie, friend of Zamorano. Who I dislike, do to his inappropriate comments.
[2] I already have problems with a so called friend, because the bigot is in “love” with him, and this certain someone, says that I’m an alcoholic and every time I can, I flirt with him. And that I can’t be trusted, pff hahaha stupid ass people who are impressed by his “big words”.
Lately, I’ve been out of tune at the prestigious Department of Politics and Social Science. I guess it’s all due to fact that I was expecting a great semester, and it turned out a pretty crappy one, I’m tired of the philosophical input in a major that ISN’T PHILOSOPHICAL!!! I have been thinking toughly and; I really like the carrier, I just don’t agree with most of the teachers and their beliefs. I’m going to try rigorously to complete excellent essays, because I’ve really been slacking off with mediocre papers and such. I’m seriously going to try harder, and try to lower just a tiny notch the excess lifestyle I endure, that way I’ll know what the real problem is, it might not even be the teachers, and it could even be a 100% me. It’s worrying since, it cost me hellas to get here, and I can’t just throw it all away.
A whole lot can happen in just one day, but sometimes, enough is enough to just piss you off. What to do when…. You realize that you just can’t through with it, you just can’t fit in with close minded people, people who just don’t get it. I know I usually sound cruel at times, but, I seriously try to do the right thing, the thing my pragmatic education taught me. I grew up and learned the hard way, that honesty is the only way to go, even if at times it might just as well sound cynical.
I learned that speaking your mind isn’t a crime, a sincere speech will get you just about anywhere, or maybe not anywhere, but it’s better to face the consequences of honesty than to face the consequence of deceit. Some mentally undeveloped and challenged folks will never get it; some people mix honesty and interpret it the wrong way, because to understand and be honest, MATURITY IS REQUIRED. Some people can’t listen, and for that matter just keep their little trap shut, they don’t have the courage to say “you pissed me off”, bitching the night away by forming little assemblies, that’s exactly what they do. They’ll never see the world, they’ll never get it.
On the bright side, today, “reveling” to just how dim-witted people can be, it has also shown me how inpatient I’m getting, I lose it, but I don’t care I guess it was just bottled up. Just as I mentioned in my last entry, the unconditional friends, the ones I call at 1 AM, the ones who know me, and get my motives, and don’t interpret more than what their ears hear, WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, I don’t change friends as often as I change underwear. And that’s that, the subject will no longer be mentioned. FYI… it pathetic when college attendees aren’t as MATURE as they like to think!!! Hahaha
Before the Fall of the Berlin Wall, East Germany's Secret Police…
Listened to Your Secrets
Tagline from “ The lives of others”.
Information is power, intimacy in “The Lives of others” is a luxury, however for Lisa Sanders, who “deciding what to say and what to keep to myself is not an easy decision, it’s more of a continuous exercise of balance”. But, what happens when you don’t own your own information? What happens when the establishment invades not only your privacy but also your intimacy?
In the award winning film in 2006, the decision isn’t that difficult, the main character, an intellectual, a writer, Georg Dreyman knows that confessing and talking about his ideas publicly could be harmful to his freedom, and even to his life. The only time he does, in an anonymous matter, he’s almost caught. Bugs are installed in his home; the most intimate issues are recorded, and he listens to everything even the writter’s sexual intercourse with his girlfriend the actress, Christa- Maria Sieland.
The plot thickens, , Hauptmann Gerd Wiesler, agent HGW XX/7, designated to the case, since the writer may be conspiring agains the RDA government, this agent decides freely, even though his life might endanger, he starts passing on phony informs to his superiors’ to protect Georg.
This film is a response, of what East Germany lived trough in the last half of the 80´s, that would be the last 5 years of the life of the Berlin Wall. The public spaces, totally under control, were quite limited, even artistic expression was controlled. If any subjects that are delicate for the government would censure them, and of course the artists would be out of a job, never to be heard of again.
West established: “the theory of communication gestation of privacy […] contains five basic points: private information, private limits, control and property, and a system base don rules”: those are things that the characters involved in this movie didn’t have. There wasn’t a public opinion, more than the one the government controlled, through the media, mainly the TV. And those disobedient citizens who didn’t respect that, were tortured, and even killed in cold blood, creating great fear in the general population.
Close to the end of the movie, with the fall of the Berlin Wall, the public spaces are modified, in pro of the liberty of speech. Finally homeostasis occurs, with the needs and meanings of the citizens, which beforehand didn’t exist. For Noelle-Neumann, in the Spiral of Silence, governments fall, then credibly is lost between the populations, that´s what happened with East Germany in the movie, some citizens were willing to fight the power and create spots in the public image of the establishment.
WEST. Richard, Communication. Theory, analysis and Aplication. Pp. 202.
I wrote this, almost a year ago… there are something’s that I have learned not to be true, but in the meantime I’ll add this entry, and of course I’ll later explain myself.
So over these long vacations, in which I’ve had a substantial period of time to analyze a few things.... lets see if I can express my thoughts correctly, I’m a little rusty in the English department so please be patient with my grammar and spelling mistakes. .
First of all it’s really difficult to generalize, so I’ll try avoiding that. With that said….almost all human being can be contradictory, why? You might ask; My answer isn’t that simple…. See we tend to (not all of us) say one thing and later do something completely different, maybe even unconsciously.
How many times have you lied to your self??? Just to believe something that isn’t completely true, this way elimination pain, anxiety, or preoccupation.
I really don’t think of it abnormal, I mean come on reality isn’t always just peachy, is it?? Can you imagine the real motive for the existence of movies and even TV shows…. I’m going to go out on a limb here…. All the media being as “objective? as you might think it is, has one true goal…. Higher ratings, with that accomplished, they are able to advertise, and commercialize : products, services, hell even ideas. So it’s a mercantile objective, but it becomes a bit more than that …. It actually goes back to the whole reality-fantasy debate, you see the media with a defining goal, easy to have I might add, the problem is reaching it, getting in the race, making it through, squeezing the juice, what ever you might call it…. How???
My analysis thus far… all this is achieved by giving you a piece of reality…. Yeah that’s right… how many times have you seen a movie, or watched a TV show and actually placed you self in someone else’s shoes?? Or though… what would it be like?? Maybe you aren’t so aware of doing it, but I’m most certain you have, even unconsciously. The media that’s what the media does, it drains your reality from maybe (emphasis on maybe) your sad, depressing, vicious, boring life. Taking you audiovisual-y to a perfect, fun, exiting, world; where anything can happen. That’s one of the things that makes us human, we enjoy feeling human as if we all had something in common.
That’s not all that communicative media does: they actually tell you how you should act, think, do, feel, about certain things. Many people from recent generations watch more TV, then they actually attend class (proven by professors and scientists on the subject). TV is becoming a babysitter in most cases, children mainly infants are more educated on social customs; by TV shows, than by actual parents or relatives.
For example I don’t see it being all bad, it can actually be a relief in some aspects. The wrong doing goes on when theses international, media enterprises go out and interfere in national political interests, telling others what to believe and how to see the world. Where does that leave sovereignty??? How about everyone else’s free will? It’s important to have your own way of seeing the world, your own ideology. Don’t let your self become manipulated, even though fantasies can be very attractive. Don’t always follow the masses, something’s are deceitful.
You have been educated in a neo-liberal (economically speaking) ideology, in which globalization is well seen, but what about the clothing you buy for 100s of dollars? Clothing which is produced in Taiwan for 10 cents, in a poverty stricken village, where people have no choice but to work a very long amount of hours for 2 dollars a day… yeah it’s true you sometimes don’t have a choice (you don’t choose where you’re born) but think about it; wouldn’t better salaries be more human??
Don’t get the wrong idea I’m not a global-phobic or anything, thanks to it international commerce has opened though not always beneficiary. Just as Karl Marx anticipated a couple of centuries ago “one day imperialism will become a totally different level? . What would be of communication, transference of information worldwide, technology and other things without globalization. What I criticize is the human factor, arrogance, and capitalism egoism.
We tend to be extremists, and judge everything on a scale, losing objectivity. It is also useless to be extremely subjective, and see everything polarized and segmented. A balance does exist, something can’t be completely evil, or truly virtuous, there’s a gray, a middle, a balance, in almost everything that meets the eye. It can become very difficult to see with all the misleading information that has bee taught during the existence of life by religion, government TV and all social controlling means.
