Constant Change??

Throughout the years, you realize that things can change pretty quickly, from friendship to hobbies, to points of view, but now I realized, that's not my case. Sure, I've grown, but I think and act the same way I did 5 yeas ago, the same things still piss me off, I make the same mistakes, I'm still a huge cynic, and bullshit about the same stuff. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing.

Those that make me more congruent? Or does that only mean "that I grew up so fast" and just sat there.

On the other hand, I'm starting to get nervous, because in a week I'll know if my life will drastically change during the next semester, yes.... I'll know in a week if I'll be leaving the country for something better, and most importantly I'll be leaving, my god awful classmates behind, the bull that surrounds me on a daily basis.

I really do need this break, -I hope that destiny understands that- it might make me move on, since I'm kind of stuck in a "rut", and it's starting to feel so god darn comfortable, and that's too scary. And you know why!!!!!

To all my friends, the true ones, the ones that will actually be happy for me please wish me luck, and to all those who are going to bullshit there way into talking crap about someone else's good fortune, screw y'all you envious, mediocre, useless pieces of crap!! hahaha

Anything can be fixed with a CUBA!!

Well almost anything, as it turns out, as some of my readers know: I have issues with my lil sis, and yesterday I casually had to pick her up at a partaaaay. So I went to get her, alongside with a good friend of mine, and suddenly we ended up going to another party, in which my sister socialized, and she finally speaks to me again!! Since she has been pissed at me for a month, and I never completley understood why! hahaha.


I spent a wonderful saturday, alongside with a couple of highschool friends, and some great Havanna Club and Jack Daniel's!! hahaha

Can you believe it?? All thanks to serving her a couple of drinks! hahahaha

PD Well I must get back to the red carpet, I loved the way Brad Pitt dodged Ryan Secrest- an annoying lil prick-. Cuz I'm like that! hahah Untile next time!!!

Wierd couple of days

OK Go!!
These have been a couple of interesting days, up until today. As it turns out I got offered a job… yes… another job.
On Monday I went to the interview and everything, I could have gotten it, but I refused it.

It would have been quite complicated to fit everything in, 2 jobs, school, and partaaays. As I have previously have repeated “I like my comfortable life”. And as my father put it “it’s a big sacrifice, is it worth it? Is it necessary?” Turns out he’s right –something that he hasn’t been for a long time-. Besides, the job had nothing to do with my major.

Even though I bitch a lot about my job at college, I actually enjoy it there, the perks are great, it’s simple, clean cut, and the commodities are good too. –This is how I convince myself-.

On Monday I also went to see a friend, who used to work in county. He asked me to help him pimp out a magazine that he’s sort of running. So I got to thinking, and got the “gang” together on Tuesday – Fer, Cora and Mimmie-, so we started brainstorming, and we will make this zine ours biatches!! It’s a good way to start a year don’t cha think?

Ughh, on the other hand I don't get men. The story of my life: there's this guy and we really hit it off, but no one acts upon their feelings DAMN IT!!!

PD. Yeaah I’m quite exited, because in exactly 6 days Obama will become president. He will sit in his desk in the oval office with his feet placed upon it; and say “Daaamn, I’m one smart negro. Ohhh Now I see how Monica got under the desk, it’s quite spacious.”

A long year in deed!!

2008.... was a year full of a lot of things.... new findings, resignations, fun, a little bit of everything. As I rang in 09 with some cuba libres ,Osvaldinho, his family and my sister I realized I wasted some of my time in things that I shouldn't have, or that weren't worthwhile. Therefore, I'm not going to make a new years resolution about "quitting smoking, loosing weight, stop procrastinating", I'm going to make one that will help me a whole lot more in the future.

My new year resolution will consist of not wasting my time, I will be a whole lot productive; there's nothing worse than throwing away my time, and life for that matter. I learned right up till the end that I had abandoned good people, people who are worth it, and I had focused my attention to a certain person that will never be, a person not willing to make a choice, therefore I made it for him.


I'm going to do all the things that I should have done2 years ago. And that's about it folks. I wish that everyone has a wonderful 09, I wish that the best of 08 is the worse of 08 (just like a good friend told me on new years eve).

This starts now..... c-ya!!!

Beware of people like such

Ok, so I don’t have many friends in college, God himself knows I like people, I just don’t like people close to me, hahaha, but what happens when people don’t trust you? It gets just a tad complicated; so I’m going to enlighten you with a nonfiction story.

A long time ago, in the far away land of the Department of Social and Political Science, at a College in one of those 3^rd world countries, there was this group of friends, which weren’t really friends, though they liked to think they were.

There was a particular member of this certain group, this little girl, she wasn’t a bad person she just had a zillion issues with herself and that made her just a bit problematical, and what the hell, a HUGE DRAMA QUEEN!! She loooooveees the drama, more than Shakespeare, this is usually because her life is just a tad empty, and it’s “entertaining” for her to make up her life like a crappy daytime soap.

As it turns out, this girl really really “LOVES”, she can meet a guy one day, and 12 hours later, she claims “loving” him. It’s quite weird, it’s underestimating love, you kind of have to know someone a little more than 12 hours to “love” him, don´t you?

The problem with the men she “loves” is that they have questionable morals; and are usually two faced suckers who “act” loyal, honest and carrying but they actually use women. This is quite funny if you think about it. So as it turns out this young lady spends her days justifying the ways of these men, and these men usually hit on her friends.

That’s not the worst part of this story, this girl usually puts the blame on her friends, she is blinded by “love”, and she blames her friends who interact with her “man” of being traitors and whores who “mess with her man”. So if you are her friend, it is recommended that you don’t speak with her “man”.

So this little girl doesn’t trust her friends, though she tries to hide it. This problem surfaces because the boy is usually a little lying crappy son of a bitch but, she can’t “not trust him” because: “he’s such a good person”. The saddest part of this sob story, the girl has self esteem issues; she blames her friends of all the males’ faults, because it’s easy, it’s easier to justify everything saying “that bitch got up all in ‘my’ man, instead of putting the blame on herself. Freud followers would have a kick with a study at this particular case.

It doesn’t really end here, as it turns out, all the people who tried to befriend this girl, you must be totally demagogic, and say exactly what she wants to hear, if you don’t, “you don´t get her”, “you don’t care about her”, and you’re “just about the worst person in her life”. The only thing I can say about this case… BEWARE OF PEOPLE LIKE THOSE DESCRIBED IN THIS ANECDOTE. DISTANCE YOUR SELF. You don’t want to be caught up in the drama, or do you?

Dang, and I thought high school was over with.

PD. Damn I’m sorry, I haven’t put up any more pictures it’s just I couldn’t find appropriate ones; I promise I’ll add some later on.

An eventful Friday.

Agh, I’m going mad, the new friggin’ neighbor up in 502, is doing some renovating in her department. I can’t sleep, I got home a few hours ago, and I’m hung-over with head pain, my ribs hurt, I have an unsatisfying thirst, chest pain; but on the bright side, I’m inspired…

It’s official… Under any circumstance I can´t be trusted. I can’t control myself, goddamn it. What are you going to think about a nearly 20 year old, who doesn’t know what self control is? It’s quite weak and the fact of the matter is that I’m really weak.

You’re probably thinking?? Damn, who did she kill? Well that’s the worst part; my actions didn’t affect anyone else but me (well maybe I sort of screwed up the night of a couple of friends, but nothing too serious, I think). I should’ve gone home when I had a chance, I shouldn’t have stayed there. So many should’ves, it is really quite a pity (haha note the rhyme). I’m starting to think that I should stop partying all together, since dear old “mature” Yazzz can’t put a restraint on her self. I’m not going into the “grouse” details.

The worse thing is, that I really got home after all the detours, but noooo… that wasn’t enough… I had to go on and on, and get even more screwed up. I know that if I continue this path, it’s not going to lead to anywhere beneficial. I really have to stop this, even if it means no more partying. I have to learn to have fun without the festivities.

It's Been a Long Year, Since We Last Spoke.

I found my self quite upset. Therefore I shall detail the really shitty things I`ve noticed about this week:

1. Will, died exactly a year ago

2. My situation with a friend just got a little more complicated, there’s no control.

3. I noticed I’m quite mediocre in some aspects

4. I have relapsed over and over again, and I`m quite scared

5. I cried my self to sleep all this week

6. I’ve noticed that some people aren’t worth it, people whom one day meant a lot.

7. My sister is still an insufferable bitch.

This is the story of an arrogant girl whom has written many letters in her head, all of them, addressed to you, which makes her think that they got lost in the mail. No matter how many times she hides the fact your dead, it’s constant, it haunts her like a nightmare, it won`t let he sleep. Regret is definitely the worst feeling. Lament for not having the courage to have looked him in the eyes and told him how she felt, constantly thinking that things could have been diverse if only the nerve were present. She tries to forget, trying to ignore by laughing, avoiding failure and the hard fall. Will was this girl’s childhood friend, her neighbor, her mentor, her first of almost everything, always there until the day of his death, a true friend who constantly had the satiric comment.

It’s true no matter how hard she tries, she encloses on a constant self destructive personality, feeling guilty about living, convinced to have deserved his fate, having done so much wrong, so much harm: SHE WOULD HAVE DESERVED THAT. She lives in bitterness, she would have traded him the place she rightfully was worthy of.

She still looks for him online, hopping every single day since February 28^th that his screen name would show up, that he would just magically appear and talk, make jokes and give advice; his death has made me feel so alone, so bitter, so guilty, so regretful, it left her scarred.

She didn’t have a single lament, before that day but she feels sorry for herself. She’ll never forget him, though you’ll never know how she cries alone. She took him for granted, looking back on all of those days she had him, and she thinks to herself in those moments everyone is distracted: “IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME”.

HIS MEMORY WON`T LET GO.

RIP: WILLIAM JARED SMITH. Jan 1988-Feb 2007